As we are marching towards the celestial city, we do so both in company with other saints and also alone. At the end of all your days, you stand before God alone to give an account for your words and deeds. But at the same time, you have union with Christ and all who are his. Your fellowship with the saints around you today is as real and potent as steak and potatoes, and by it you are strengthened and comforted.

So the call is to true fellowship and charity without mistaking means for ends. Your purpose is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. Ultimately you are made for God alone, but you are also made like him–made to give and receive love. So here are some diagnostic questions to help check yourself in this:

On the one hand:

• Who are my people? Do I think of myself as bound in covenant to my brothers and sisters in Christ? Am I honoring my father and mother? Am I submitting to my elders? Are there people whom I can go to for counsel, people who know me and love me? Am I giving sacrificially of my time and resources to those whom God has given me to love? Are there friends who I know are praying for me and will ask me hard questions?

And on the other hand:

• Do I find myself obsessing about who’s friends with whom? Am I a gossip or a busybody; always eager to discuss other people’s business? Do I want to be the confidant of everyone, to sit at the center of a spiderweb of relationships? Do I put too much stock in the good opinion of others? Does criticism crush me? 

The cure to both errors is to be rock solid grounded in the love of God. When you know the love of God, you are free from unhealthy attachment to others, but also you are free to lavish the love of God upon others and receive his love as it passes through the hands of others to you. And the key to knowing the love of God, is to come to him in faith, which begins with confessing your sins.